So at 11 weeks, I couldn’t even fit in my clothes.
I looked like and felt like an absolute sack of potatoes.
Is there really such a thing as a pregnancy glow!? I certainly hadn’t got it and I wasn’t convinced at that moment in time that I really ever would!
I’m not the most girly of girls in general and have always considered myself a tomboy but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to feel super girly and pretty sometimes! That weekend we had a friend’s wedding to attend and I decided that I was in need of a new dress that would make me feel as beautiful on the outside as I felt at that time on the inside.
Corny I know but growing a human being does make you feel pretty amazing!
Either that or its making you feel broken on the inside with all the pelvic movement going on and potentially more than a just a little emotionally unstable.
I had been browsing online for a dress that I thought would make me feel nice but had realised pretty quickly that I didn’t have the time to order any and make a decision…yes I know there’s next day delivery and free returns but I shan’t lie I’m not that organised! Leaving things to the last minute is how I operate and unfortunately it had not paid off for me this time!
Instead I decided that I had to go into our local town centre. As any average UK town, ours is full of a delightful array of boutiques, high-end shops and … oh no wait, that’s not our town, that would be a city. Our town is pretty normal and I now know there aren’t really any maternity friendly departments apart from 5 racks spread across Mothercare and H&M.
However, I persevered (with Michael in tow – oh how he loved it)! We hit New Look, Debenhams and Next… yes there’s a lot of choice. I won’t lie I thought at that point I could still fit nicely into a normal dress.
Sadly nothing looked good.
Particularly not the baby pink wrap dress I had seen online that I had envisaged myself looking delightful in! Instead Mr Blobby came to mind. Though he is clearly the life of the party and I’m all for partying the night away, he was not a particular style icon of mine.
I must have tried on at least 10 dresses to no avail.
Finding a Maternity Dress
We then went to Dorothy Perkins and I found two dresses! Stretchy dresses! Glittery, stretchy dresses! Oh yes! I was convinced that this was going to be the shop where I slipped into a slinky little number, felt fabulous and made the purchase.
It was then that I noticed that the sales assistant was walking over. She smiled. I looked around. It was only Mike and I in the shop! Oh no…it’s Sunday! Sunday trading hours!!!
As she started to speak I knew what she was about to say.
“I’m afraid we’re closing now, you can buy the items you have but you won’t be able to try them on at this time”.
Nothing wrong with that. Nothing obnoxious about this friendly sales assistant who was in fact very lovely and polite! I hadn’t just been abused or told anything devastating. She was absolutely right, I could purchase the dresses, the lovely stretchy glittery dresses, try them on at home and then bring them back if necessary!
Apparently though, to my tired, first-trimester self who had felt like a potato all day, it was just too much!!!
Tonnes of tears
I felt it bubbling. My lip started trembling as I placed the dresses back on the rack…no I wasn’t buying them… of course I had to try them on and couldn’t possibly buy them without having tried them on!
All of a sudden my face was wet. So wet and I was sniffling.
She asked me if I was okay and I whimpered back that I was fine. I looked at Michael, my supportive, empathetic husband. He was evidently there with open arms ready to console me and escort me out…no, no he wasn’t. Well his arms were open but he was laughing at me.
I took the hug anyway and then tried to leave. However, I glanced up at the horrified sales assistant and she said sweetly “you can still buy them or come back another time”. It was too much.
I then absolutely, completely launched into full-blown sobbing!
I tried to explain to the lovely lady that this is not me, I’m not normally like this, I’m not an emotional person, I don’t cry over things that aren’t important… “I’m just pregnant!” but the tears kept rolling down my face.
A Nosebleed on Top
To be honest I don’t know if the poor woman could understand me through my rambling and sobbing. I hastily apologised and made my way to the exit. Only to realise on the way out that I had in fact induced a nose bleed in my overly emotional, pregnant state!
Not only was I crying, rambling and looking horrendous I was now also covered in blood.
Isn’t pregnancy supposed to be a glorious time when you feel akin with Mother Nature!?
This was certainly not the case for me. I found some tissues in my bag and sorted myself out. Well, I say they were tissues but they were actually extra serviettes from hotdogs that we’d had a few days before hand. I reigned in the crying with some deep breaths and got a little cuddle from Michael who was, understandably…still laughing!
To move on from my utter despair I requested that we go for milkshake and proceeded to walk a few paces behind Mike softly, sniffling as I went. My toddler-esc whining about milkshake was to no avail as Michael informed me I still had blood on my face so I was going nowhere but home!
I couldn’t really disagree.
He did however hero-husband it and stopped at the shop on the way home to buy ingredients for some rather lovely and indulgent milkshakes at home. They were AMAZING!!! Just what I needed after an emotionally, exhausting day!
Oh and I found a dress two days later – stretchy and glittery too! TK MAXX to the rescue!
At that point I really hoped that this wasn’t a sign of the emotional meltdowns to come! Though there have been some wobbles they’ve not quite been so significant and have been in the safety of my own home.
Fingers crossed it stays that way!
On a final note the dress I bought, which didn’t cause me any tears, has since seen a couple more outings and I still love it!
I felt like the most pregnant person in the world at this point…how wrong I was!
To be more prepared than I was and to find some excellent maternity clothes click here and head to Asos!